Podcast Episode 207: Avoiding Conflict at All Costs Is Very Often Costly

Oct 17, 2015 | Podcasts

In The Loop with Andy Andrews, hosted by David Loy

Click here to download the transcript of this episode.


On this week’s episode, I answer a listener question on what to do when someone asks for a letter of recommendation when you wouldn’t recommend them.


How authentic are we going to be in our lives?

  • This dials down into who we are as much as who they are.
  • There is pain and confrontation that could be avoided, but should it?
  • There is the opportunity for retreat or deceit. This is an odd situation that many of us have found ourselves in.


When we are asked to write a letter of recommendation for someone we absolutely love, were excited and we start thinking of other ways we could possibly help.

  • Think about your
  • Would you like somebody to throw a hand grenade into it?
  • When we write a letter of recommendation and that person fails miserably because of a character flaw or bad habits, it’s not just them who gets the bad mark—it’s you.


What kind of people are you wanting to be around, and who are you wanting to become?

  • If this person is someone you would not recommend for a job, they’re probably more of an acquaintance, or at least someone you shouldn’t be spending a lot of time with anyway.
  • You have the opportunity to tell the truth with concern, love, and the possibility of their life being set on a different, more positive course.


Tune in to hear how the response you receive from someone you wouldnt recommend ultimately determines whether that person is wise or foolish.


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