Podcast Episode 146: What to Say to Your Kids When They’re Too Hard on Themselves

Aug 16, 2014 | In The Loop

In The Loop with Andy Andrews, hosted by David Loy


On this week’s episode, I share my perspective on how to talk to your kids when they are being to hard on themselves and falling apart.

As parents, it is crucial that we are vulnerable about our pasts.

  • Some kids need to know another person has experienced the same problems as they have.
  • Obviously we’ve forgotten what being 12 feels like, but we can try to imagine how things are going on in their minds.

My son, Adam, is very sensitive and tends to think about things that might not bother his older brother.  

  • His feelings don’t get hurt easily, but he is very aware of what other people are feeling—and he tends to focus on areas where he’s not doing so well.
  • I encourage you to help your child understand that we are all in the same boat together.
  • We all have strengths and weaknesses, and you can always find someone better than you.
  • Talk to your children about how they act, walk, and talk—and try to instill these habits in their lives.

I recently heard a pastor say to the church’s youth, “Sometimes God will give you a weakness that you really have to struggle with, and it will become a strength.”

I told Adam a story about two football teams.

  • The first team had athletes that didn’t have to work hard to beat the other team every year.
  • One year the second team decided to start lifting weights and working out harder than ever.
  • The first time they played the really good team again, they lost worse than before because their bodies were sore.
  • But the next year after sticking with the workouts, they creamed the other team. The first team decided to start working out harder, but they were already too far behind.

Make sure to check out the free parenting videos on the website. There’s a bunch of great information on how to talk to your kids.

Here’s a link, so you don’t have to go hunting: Click here

Questions for Listeners

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  • Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY
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