Let’s face it: most advice about success is bad.
After all, if most of it were good, you and I would have to assume—given the sheer volume of advice on the topic a person can access at the click of a button—there would be a lot more successful people in the world today.
But as we both know, that is not the case.
Unfortunately, despite the good intentions, most advice about success suffers from one fatal flaw…
It’s built around a shortsighted definition of what success really is.
Society is quick to tell you that success means having a:
- Nice car
- Huge house
- Boat
- Large travel budget
We cling to things like this as indicators of success because they’re so easily visible. Over time, we develop tunnel vision about them, blinding ourselves to the possibility of pursuing things that actually make a lasting difference.
Things like:
- Your legacy
- Your level of influence
- Spending time with your family
- Your ability to give to those in need
So when searching for the keys to success, it’s important to take advice with a grain of salt. Be aware that most of it is designed to help you obtain more things rather than making more of an impact.
If, as I suspect, success means more to you than the kind of car in your driveway, I encourage you to keep reading.
This list is built to help you do two things:
- Determine what success looks like in your life
- Give you actionable steps to achieving it
I discovered each of these steps during my time studying the lives of thousands of history’s greatest achievers. No matter their area of expertise, they all had similar habits and beliefs that helped them produce incredible results.
Wait: Keep This Question in Mind As You Read the Keys to Success
Before we go any further, there’s one more important thing you need to know about the definition of success:
There is no one definition.
That’s why it’s critical that you define what it looks like to you.
Otherwise, you’ll be starting a journey without a destination. And without a destination, you’ll have no idea where to go, how to prepare, or if you’re even on the right track.
So, instead of simply asking, “What does success look like for me?” I want you to make a slight change to the question.
Ask yourself, “What would a successful life look like for me?”
To get your mind jogging, here are a few follow-up questions that can help you paint a mental picture of your successful life:
- What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? What will people say when they describe my life?
- How much influence do I want and what will I do with it?
- Who do I want to impact and how will I go about it?
- How much time do I want to spend with my family?
You don’t need a definitive answer before you read any further, but keep this in mind as you continue. Once you can define your successful life, these seven keys to success will give you a blueprint to living it.
7 Keys to Living a Successful Life
1. Discipline
Most of us have trained our brains to have a negative connotation with this word. We think of discipline as punishment or as making ourselves do something we don’t want to do.
But I urge you to change the way you think about it…
Think about discipline as something you may not like doing, but have the opportunity to do in order to get the results you would like to have.
Take reading for example—most adults either don’t like reading or think they don’t have time for it.
But statistics show that people who read:
- Make more money than people who don’t
- Have a lower divorce rate than people who don’t
- Have fewer problems with their children than people who don’t
- Get promoted at a higher rate than people who don’t
- Get hired at a higher rate than people who don’t
Are you after those results? Then it really doesn’t matter if you like reading or not, does it? Because the results you are after in your life have very little to do with what you don’t like. In fact, forget what you don’t like. This is about WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT?
From now on, I encourage you to think of discipline in this way:
- What do I really want?
- What results would totally change my life and the lives of those I care about the most?
- Is it worth doing something I don’t want to do for relatively small chunks of time in order to achieve those results?
Without discipline, a successful life is impossible to reach.
The ongoing process of learning what you need to learn in order to do something with extraordinary excellence is often grueling and repetitive. You need discipline to keep yourself moving toward the life you want to live during those times that don’t seem to be producing immediate results.
Because the truth is this: success is an incremental realization of a worthwhile dream or goal—not a destination.
2. Persistence (Without Exception)
I used to get frustrated when an interviewer would ask me to quickly run through the Seven Decisions from The Traveler’s Gift.
Not because I didn’t want to explain it, but because the seventh and most important decision—”I will persist without exception”—is frequently misinterpreted.
You and I understand what it means to persist: to hang in there even when things get tough. We’ve been taught to give things our best shot and keep fighting for as long as we can.
So when people hear the phrase “persist without exception,” they think they already understand what it means.
But they usually forget the “without exception” part.
It’s not because they’re quitters—it’s because when things aren’t going well, they think they should change direction.
Think about it…
Often times when we’re in the middle of persisting and things aren’t going well, it makes us think:
“Is this really worth doing?”
And most people decide it isn’t, so they change course.
But if what you’re doing moves you closer to your definition of a successful life, you can’t afford to change course.
You must persist—despite how hard it is or how hopeless it may seem—so you can live the life you were made to live.
I learned this the hard way…
The Traveler’s Gift was rejected 51 times before it finally got published.
But I was unwilling to change course because it moved me closer to my definition of a successful life.
For me, that book was an absolute must-do activity—so it was only a matter of time before we found the right publisher.
And now it’s a New York Times Bestseller that’s sold over 4 million copies worldwide!
My point is this: it’s not enough to just know when to persist—you have to know when to persist without exception.
Whatever it is you’re going after must have the potential to move you closer toward your definition of a successful life, otherwise you will waste your time.
But if it does? Then you can’t afford to stop no matter what.
3. Being Coachable
You’ve heard how valuable coaches are. From pro sports to CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, coaching is everywhere.
But a curious thing happens when you talk to people about the importance of coaching…
Although they’re quick to agree that coaches and advisors are critically important to everything from sports teams to businesses, they fail to acknowledge that coaching can be just as valuable for their own lives.
While there’s not really any such thing as a “shortcut” to success, there are certainly things that make the process less painful! Coaching is one of them.
And if you think you can’t afford it think again.
There are many ways to get coaching, and some of them are free:
1. Develop a personal board of directors
While your own personal board of directors might sound expensive, you can actually set one up absolutely free of cost.
How? You only need two things:
- People in your life whom you would describe as wise
- People in your life who have achieved results (personal or professional) you would like to have
If any names come to mind, congratulations—you have a personal board of directors! No formal process is necessary. The members of your board don’t even need to know they’re on it. They do not need to meet quarterly at a large conference table.
All you need to do is watch, listen, and ask questions. Use these people as sounding boards. When you’re around them, come ready to ask specific questions.
This method doesn’t cost anything and requires only paying attention to people who already are where you want to be.
2. Read books
Some of the best coaching I’ve ever received cost less than $20, didn’t speak a word, and sat on my nightstand.
Sure, personalized feedback is great, but never discount the insights you can gain from reading the right books at the right time. Read often and you’ll find them.
3. Hire a personal coach
Hiring a personal coach can be a game changer. It’s hard to give specific tips for doing this since the options available to people depending on their financial situations vary so much, but my one piece of advice for everyone would be this:
Look for someone who gives you things you can take and actually use in your life, rather than one who simply gives you emotional fuel.
As someone who has both coached others and been coached, trust me—that is the critical factor that separates the coaches who are actually worth their cost.
4. Join a mastermind group or private coaching community
Whether you can hire a personal coach or not, this is another excellent option. A group of like-minded peers who are after similar results can keep you accountable and engaged as you work through the inevitable ups and downs of success.
5. Having a Personal Mission Statement
Imagine how difficult it would be to build a house without a blueprint.
You’d have to design the layout as you go, which would inevitably lead to all kinds of delays and hiccups.
And when it’s all said and done, the end result would likely be much different than what you originally had in mind.
The same can be said about trying to live a successful life without a mission statement.
A personal mission statement is the blueprint for achieving your definition of a successful life.
It keeps you aligned with your core values and guides you toward the life you want to live—making every decision you’ll ever face much easier.
That’s why nearly every business and high achiever has some sort of mission statement.
A Personal Mission Statement establishes boundaries that will protect your time, money, and assets.
Take mine for example: My mission is to help others live the lives they would if they only knew how.
If something I’m considering doing doesn’t align with this mission, I don’t do it. Plain and simple.
For a detailed guide on how to craft your personal mission statement, click here.
6. Belief
Over and over again, it’s been proven that it’s impossible to achieve anything that lies beyond what you believe yourself capable of doing.
So when I surveyed members of my email list about the number one thing preventing them from reaching their goals, and the responses overwhelmingly cited a lack of belief or confidence, I knew there was a problem.
As important as belief is, we all struggle with it. But that doesn’t mean the struggle has to be endless.
Increasing the belief you have in yourself starts with understanding three foundational truths:
- Your belief comes from your thinking. Every choice you’ll ever make is determined by how you think. Fortunately, it’s possible to direct your thinking.
- You direct your thinking by what you seek…or don’t. Your thinking determines your strength of belief, your lack of belief, your struggle with belief, and your absolute belief. The beautiful thing is you direct your beliefs the same way you direct your thinking—by CHOOSING the things you watch, read, listen to, and give your focus. Choose wisely.
- You must guard your thinking. YOU are the guard who admits or turns away the people, things, or activities that will negatively influence your thinking. It’s on you to set boundaries for what you will and will not accept into your life.
Every choice you make is determined by what you think, how you think, and how long you think about it.
If you learn how to direct and guard your thoughts, you can ultimately take control of your thinking and increase your level of belief.
For more practice at this (because we all need it), check out the full post I wrote on “Increasing Your Belief in Yourself” here.
7. Goal Setting
When we decide we want a better life, what is the first thing we usually do?
We look for “best practices.” For the tips, tools, and strategies that have worked for everyone else.
For the “keys to success,” if you will. 🙂
And while these things are helpful (I wouldn’t have written this blog post about them if I didn’t believe they’d help), it’s easy to let them shroud the most important ingredient in creating your ideal life.
Do you remember what that is?
It’s the question I told you to keep in mind at the beginning of this post: “What would a successful life look like for me?”
The answer to this question gives you your destination. And starting with your destination in mind will put you miles ahead of the vast majority of people who set goals and never achieve meaningful progress.
Rather than letting methods determine your destination, let your destination determine your methods.
While I’ve listed seven keys to success in this post, the reality is that you need to know what your destination is before you can determine which of these keys will be most vital for you to master first.
Instead of viewing them as a step-by-step plan, see them as a set of tools you can use in a variety of different ways (and at different times) to create the methods you will need to follow to create your ideal life. Because when it comes to creating your life, there is no step-by-step plan. It is uniquely yours. The plan is being written as you live it.
Remember: Success Is a Process
There will be times when you get discouraged. You’ll feel like you aren’t making any progress. You might even question if it’s worth continuing.
When you do, remember this:
Success is not a destination; it’s a process.
Most people jump ship when they aren’t seeing progress. They get discouraged and decide to change course.
But don’t take the bumps in the road as signs that you’re headed in the wrong direction. They’re a requirement of any journey worth taking.
Stay the course.
Focus on the process of becoming the person you were created to be.
